Rachel's world

Friday, May 02, 2008

So here we go again...

I am going to back track a tad. Saturday evening I'm feeling crappy. Evey time I take a deep breath I get a pain in the side of my chest. Pain still there on Sunday. I have a medical test scheduled for Monday morning and I figure after that I'll go to the hospital and get this pain checked out.

OK, and overnight stay and 3 tests later and they have no idea what is or was. Thankfully I'm feeling better. I have to say the new cancer center @ St. Peter's was lovely. They were individual suites -no sharing with some random weirdo.

Anyway today I started back w/ chemo and according to the doctor I should really have no side effects--WHATEVER dude as long as it does what it is supposed to do. Hopefully my hair will start to grow back. Kojak and I could be related except my scalp doesn't have that sleek shine going on. And also because he is dead already.


Friday, April 04, 2008

Back to the drawing board....
Well I was dealt a shitty hand recently-no I don't mean cards either.
I have been feeling a little weak in the legs and arms for a while and thought because I had in bed for a few days battling a cold, I thought I was just weak. Well it just started to get worse problems getting off the couch, climbing stairs, grocery shopping, you name it. I finally said something to the doctor and of course they order a battery of tests.

That's fine because I also had my routine Ct scans coming up too and I was anxious to see what the new drug was doing since my hair is coming back. So they did MRI's on my back-nothing compromising my spine-good. The MRI of the the old noggin shows some cancer--NICE. I am currently undergoing 15 treatments of radiation. The doctor is VERY optimistic that this is going to get rid of whatever needs not to be there-which in turn makes me feel very confident that it is going to work.

However they still do not know whether the weakness is due to the brain malfunction or if it's the chemo doing something wacky so-wish me luck.


Monday, March 03, 2008

Howdy folks!

Been some time since I felt like "talking" but here goes.

One-Today's weather made me feel good today. It is sunny and the temp will probably max out near 60 degrees.

Two-I got a nice e-mail from a friend that made feel all tingly.

Three-I am feeling pretty good about myself these days. My HAIR--yes I said HAIR--is starting to grow back. Not like Crystal Gayle or anything but I actually got it "trimmed" about three weeks ago because I was looking pretty crazy. But I have put away the baseball caps and actually used some styling product to keep my hair in place.

Lastly I have started the 4th cycle in the new DRUG I am on and in about another month I will have CT scans to see how this is doing. I HOPE HOPE HOPE that I can stay with this. It's nice to have hair again. Also I feel pretty good and DO NOT want to start something new.


Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Super Tuesday

Ok so it's Super Tuesday and I have no idea who to vote for. I really feel no dedication to either party and not even sure who stands for what.

I was liking the platform for getting all American's affordablehealth insurance especially since our family has to pay for our own medical and dental insurance. Then I hear how Hillary plans to "pay" for it. She was going to garnish their wages to pay for it. DUH-- if you garnish their wages when they can't afford to pay for it in the first place how will they afford to live or eat??

Anyway Obama was on the same platform but I haven't heard how he was going to fund it.

Not sure what McCain's platform is but I want to vote. I feel like I am doing something to make a difference.

I do know that in the next few months we will be overcome with political ads and attack campaigns. I guess I'll find out who is going to "try" to make a difference.

All I know is that I would like this stupid war to end and the gas prices go back to a reasonable rate. Is that too much to ask for??


Tuesday, January 15, 2008


I have just read a news article about a little girl who was beaten by her mother and stepfather apparently because she forgot to say yes sir or something equally absurd. On Saturday I read the newspaper as I do every week and was appalled at the stories I was reading.

A local woman drowned her 9 month old daughter, A mother in Washington DC killed her four kids, Some nut threw his kids off a bridge because he had a fight with his wife, another asshole stabbed his kids and their mother then himself and set fire to his house in an effort to conceal his crime. Should I go on....

I was so depressed after reading these stories and just wanted to go pick up my own daughter and hold her. How on earth can anyone look at the face of a child let alone another human and decide whether they are disposable?

I just can't believe what somepeople are capable of..


Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy New Year!!!

Well it's been a long while since my last rant-I mean post. Few things have happened.

We had a vacation in Arizona the beginning of December and it was a beauty. It was cool to get out of this dirty town and see something new. No smog or pollution but the Border patrol was out and in force!!! We were visiting Rob's brother and sister in law and did a little early Christmas celebrating. Since they come out every year we decided to go there. It was cool.
Of course Lindsay got sick. I swear every time we leave the state she gets a cold. She must need the pollution laiden air to survive--like some kind of mutant kid!

Anyway, I am now on PLAN C for cancer control. The CT scan I had a few weeks ago showed that the spots on my liver were getting a little bigger. So off one drug and onto another. This one should allow my hair to start growing back. And I really am feeling pretty good with this one. Not feeling tired and run down like I was with the last drug so WOO HOO!!

So Christmas was good to us and we had the family over including My FATHER!!! Shocking as it sounds it was cool. We haven't spent a holiday together in a very long time--well Sean, my Dad, and me so it was cool. Also the week before Lindsay had a little concert at school and it was too cute. All these little kids attempting to sing holiday songs. We had a good time.

Other than that all is quiet for the time being. Hopefully 2008 will bring bigger and much better things for everyone!!


Monday, October 08, 2007

Monday Monday

I don't know whether to crawl back into bed or what. I had Ct scans done last week. No biggie the regular check up so to speak. I have a treatment tomorrow so I figured I wouldn't hear from the doctor til I see him.

So I go almost a full week without him calling and then...you guessed it. He called this morning. That ALWAYS means bad news. Apparently my chest is clear and all of my blood work was "normal" except for a few spots in my abdomen. They apparently have gotten bigger.

So he has a few ideas on how to plan the attack. The one he wants to start with is going back to WEEKLY treatments. He figured I was doing great that way so hopefully I'll go back to doing great. We'll have to see after 6 weeks and a new CT scan how it's really going.

If not that then maybe a new drug. The thought of that scares me because I've never gotten sick from anything I was on and there is bound to be one that is going to get me.

I guess I should count my lucky stars and be glad I have had so good, but I am ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to break some shit or yell at someone. I mean what the fuck!

I don't want to sound like poor me, but I'm pissed. I'm also depressed at the thought of all of this. I feel like I did at the beginning..... like was I going to make it to see my baby graduate from high school or get married or will I get to hold my grandchild? I hate feeling like this.