Monday Monday I don't know whether to crawl back into bed or what. I had Ct scans done last week. No biggie the regular check up so to speak. I have a treatment tomorrow so I figured I wouldn't hear from the doctor til I see him. So I go almost a full week without him calling and then...you guessed it. He called this morning. That ALWAYS means bad news. Apparently my chest is clear and all of my blood work was "normal" except for a few spots in my abdomen. They apparently have gotten bigger. So he has a few ideas on how to plan the attack. The one he wants to start with is going back to WEEKLY treatments. He figured I was doing great that way so hopefully I'll go back to doing great. We'll have to see after 6 weeks and a new CT scan how it's really going. If not that then maybe a new drug. The thought of that scares me because I've never gotten sick from anything I was on and there is bound to be one that is going to get me. I guess I should count my lucky stars and be glad I have had so good, but I am ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to break some shit or yell at someone. I mean what the fuck! I don't want to sound like poor me, but I'm pissed. I'm also depressed at the thought of all of this. I feel like I did at the beginning..... like was I going to make it to see my baby graduate from high school or get married or will I get to hold my grandchild? I hate feeling like this. HELP